I Carried You

I Carried You

Before I knew your name, before I felt the flutter of your tiny kicks, before your growing body made mine swell, I carried you.

When my ribs expanded, my bladder squished, and my back ached, I carried you. I rubbed my belly and wondered who you would be. I loved you before I even met you.

When I didn’t know what I was doing, I carried you. from your bassinet to the rocking chair and back again, many times throughout the days and nights. I carried you with tears streaming down my face, wondering if I was doing everything right, loving you so much and still not understanding how to be the new version of me.

When the fog cleared in my mind, I carried you. across streams and through forests, up mountains and over rocks. I talked and sang to you and pointed out the trees, sunshine, leaves, and twigs. I carried you again and again, and your babbles and squeals in my ear turned to words and songs and exclamations.

I carried you, and my body got stronger,my heart got fuller, my mind got clearer. I found a peace I’d never known. I learned how to be the new version of me when I was carrying you.